Happy Barfday
Posted by Josh on August 23rd, 2007 in General.
Yesterday was the birthday of the Big Mac. It turned 40 years old. Which I think gives it another ten years or so before it’s dead because we all know you don’t live long eating that crap.
I used to have a job giving tours at the computer museum in Boston. There was a McDonalds downstairs right between us and where the Boston Tea Party ship (and annoying reenactments) were. They used to throw the fake tea overboard but the fake tea was attached by ropes so it looked like special effects from an Ed Wood film. To quote John Edwards in regards to all matters domestic and patriotic, we can do better.
I used to eat at that McDonalds once a week or so. I was still a year away from going vegetarian at that point, but even then I knew McDonalds was a terrible place to get food. I’d be walking around monitoring one of the galleries or giving a tour thinking about where I was going to eat and invariably my brain would say “McDonalds!” Most days I’d give that cartoon bubble thought above my head the smackdown, but once a week or so I’d give in. I even felt sick before I got there and I knew I’d be dragging ass the rest of the day with all that grease and fat in my stomach. (I would add “death” to that list of things in my stomach, but at the time those thoughts were still in the murky unknown part of my brain trying to reach the surface.)
But somehow, there was still an appeal. Even knowing I was going to regret it didn’t keep me from going. Knowing I was going to feel crappy for the rest of the day didn’t keep me away. Such was the draw. Such was the magnetism.
It’s weird thinking back about those times. I wasn’t ignorant, I’d been around pretty radical political communities (though mostly as a spectator) for years through punk rock, but a light just wasn’t going on in my head. Even though I knew it was a terrible place to patronize, I still went. What is that mechanism in our heads that keeps us from doing the right thing?
Thinking back about who I was then, in many ways, it’s hard to recognize myself. At least in regards to eating. That was probably the last McDonalds I’ve been in as I went vegetarian not long after leaving that job. A year and change after that I moved to Chicago and probably went into a Burger King 3 or 4 times to get the “Veggie Whopper” which isn’t really a menu item, you have to ask. (This was before the BK veggie burger which I don’t think I’ve had). It’s a Whopper just without the meat. Why pay for a bun with cheese and mayo and lettuce and pickles? I can’t remember now. Not long after, I went vegan and for years would occassionally hit Subway or Taco Bell but it has been years since I’ve been in either of those places.
In the August online edition of our little megazinester Nicole Maron writes about her own battles with this weird allure of fast food, and doing wrong knowingly, and breaking that cycle. She spoke about it far more eloquently than I, for some reason I thought you’d like to know about secret items on the BK cash register that aren’t on the actual menu. I recommend you check out her story, it is honest and hit close to home with me. Perhaps it will to you too.
So yeah, happy birthday Big Mac. You’ve hurried countless people along towards chronic illness and death, you’ve been the transport for billions of hacked apart animals that lived short awful lives and died brutally. And McDonalds commercials are really annoying and pandering.
I couldn’t make your birthday party, but I’ll be there with bells on at your funeral.
